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Thursday, February 25, 2016

Esopus

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Last week the Cap Corps Volunteer community went on retreat to the Marist Brothers Center in Esopus, New York. A friar from the Province, Fr. Sam, gave the retreat to the five young adults.
The theme of this retreat was belonging. We explored contemplative prayer, poetry, and beauty. Our retreat began Tuesday evening and ended Friday afternoon. Each morning and night we had a "silent sit" or intentional quiet time. Our breakfasts and lunches were also had in silence. Each afternoon we had a couple of hours of free time, where we were allowed to relax, pray, or encounter Christ in reconciliation.  One of the most enjoyable parts of the retreat was our interaction with the full time volunteers at Esopus. During each of our meal times we were greeted with the same hospitality that we try to show our guests at CYFM. It was so nice to be on the receiving end of that grace though. The Marist volunteers have a blog too, you can check it out here.We had conversation at dinner, and some community time in the evening. We played games, had dessert, and tended to the fire in the living room.
Our introduction to contemplative prayer was through Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer. I found this practice particularly difficult. Although I am content with quiet, I often let my mind race and wander through parts of my day, my prayer life, and through past experiences. I usually end up taking one thing and thinking through it thoroughly, and not actually praying. This wasn't really what we were supposed to be doing. And for some reason, I couldn't actually focus on the point of centering prayer. Instead I thought about next year, and many other things.
To be honest, I probably should have taken the opportunity for "spiritual companionship" during free time. Rather, I took a shower, a brief nap, read for a bit, and took a walk down to the river.
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As I approached the Hudson River, I couldn't get over the shards of ice that were floating along with the current, and getting left behind on the shore. It was kind of gloomy out. I say kind of because it was gray, but it was rather warm out, which made it bearable to walk around outside.
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I couldn't get over how the ice resembled glass in appearance, but also in sound. The different pieces of ice clanked against each other, moving down the river, taking turns riding along with one another. It really was spectacular. On the way to dinner that night Fr. Sam and I spoke about how cool this was, but also serene and somewhat eerie. I think that this experience put me in a better place to reflect on beauty in the context of belonging.
We read poetry from Mary OliverGerard Manley Hopkins, as well as others. I had never studied any of the poets that we read, but I was especially captivated by Hopkins use of language in As Kingfishers Catch Fire.
I say móre: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is —
Isn't it beautiful?! I never had the chance to study Hopkins, so I may be looking into some of his collected works in the near future... or when I have a chance to read (probably next year).
I think that the combination of contemplation, poetry, beauty, and a sprinkle of Laudato Si was beneficial for these Cap Corps. We spend so much time reflecting as a group throughout our normal (as normal as it can be) schedule. The quiet, although difficult for some, was nice. It was nice to spend that time with the Lord, in a more structured and relaxed way.
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With love and gratitude,
Mary

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Ash Wednesday and Lent




It's that time of year again!  This Wednesday, Christians all over the world are reminded of their sinfulness and of their dependence on the Grace of God. The video above explains Lent and Ash Wednesday in two minutes... only two minutes! Take a couple of minutes, watch, and learn. Often enough, we as Catholics feel that we need to do some extraordinary acts during Lent to show that we are indeed, devout Catholics. 

Don't let your pride get in the way of letting yourself grow spiritually. The Church calls us to pray, fast, and to give alms. What is one thing that you can do to make your relationship with God better this Lent? What is one thing that is keeping you from God? Maybe its netflix, instagram, or checking your phone too much. Fast from it. How can you give of yourself? Whether it's monetarily, or a giving of your gifts to someone else. Think about it. What would you like to do to share yourself with the world during these 40 days. 

Fr. Mike Schmitz has some great advice for what we can do for Lent in this video:


Still not sure what you should do? Check out these resources:


Become a Missionary of Mercy this Lent. 

As you know, Pope Francis declared this year a year of Mercy. The Capuchin Franciscans have been made special Missionaries of Mercy for this Jubilee Year. The Mass was Monday. Each Province sent a Friar to be present. Check out the pictures here!

Want more information on how to be a Missionary of Mercy? Check out these links:


Make this your best Lent yet. Prepare your heart for Easter, for the risen Christ by dying to self with Him for 40 days.

With Love and Gratitude,
Your CYFM Family

Monday, February 8, 2016

Restless

So I wasn’t really exposed to Christian music, praise and worship music, or whatever you want to call it until last year, but it has definitely been an interesting time. See, I grew up listening to a lot of Rap and Hip-Hop music my whole life. So you could say that I have done a total reversal of music interests. I went from listening to Kid Cudi, Jay-Z, and Kanye West on a daily basis; to listening to Matt Maher, David Crowder Band, and Hillsong United almost all the time. I didn’t go through this whole grand transformation of who I am, I just found listening to “Jesus Music” a lot more enjoyable than I used to.

So a song that kind of sparked that music change was the song “Restless” by Audrey Assad. I was first introduced to this song by my friend, Ana, on her “Happy” playlist. It is a popular song in the Catholic and Christian circles. So this song has done a lot for me recently. It was a song that I listened to in times of sadness, frustration, and joy. It was the song that really helped me strengthen my prayer life.

The chorus of the song goes:
            And I'm restless, I'm restless 'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You.  I am restless, I'm restless 'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You. Oh God, I wanna rest in You.

My prayer life has been pretty scattered in the past few months. You would think doing a volunteer year where you do a lot of prayer I would have it down to an art by now, but no, I haven’t. My mind has been restless. My heart has been restless. In result my prayer life has been restless as well. All of this has been frustrating me, but I guess that’s what happens when you are trying to figure out your life.

I was having a conversation with one of my friends one night and they say “But Paul, you seem like you have everything figured out in your life!” I respond to them saying, “ha. Haha.hahaha. lol.”
Recently I have been in this restless state of mind. See, I want to become a Campus Minister at Providence College one day. That is my goal in life and that is what I am striving to do. I am restless because of the uncertainty in the way I am going to get there. I am in the waiting stage of my grad school application process. Waiting to hear if it is a yes or a no. Waiting to hear if it is a maybe later. It is a state of unknown. I don’t like this stage at all, and me being me, I am naturally an impatient person and want to know right this instant what my future will or will not entail. I am restless because I want this to happen so badly. I want to go to Grad School, learn all that I can, and then finally become a great Campus Minister for someone. But maybe that this isn’t what God wants of me. Maybe there is something else God wants me to do. Maybe God wants me to go back to wanting to become a teacher.

I am restless because I want happiness, and a lot of things make me happy. All of the possibilities make me so happy and I want to do all of them. Teaching, ministry, all of it brings me joy. You can see the happiness in my face when I do/ talk about something I love. It radiates from me.
The bridge of the song goes:

Still my heart, hold me close. Let me hear, a still small voice. Let it grow, let it rise. Into a shout, into a cry


I just want to know. I just want to be pushed in a certain direction so I can just focus. I want to hear something. To just have a little guidance. So I can let it grow, let it rise, into a shout, into a cry. But that is not up to me. I will continue to be restless, until I can have that rest in Him. I guess I am just going to be restless for a while, but sometimes restlessness is a good thing.

- Paul