Thankfulness

A few weeks ago I read a blog post written by a friend from college who is also committing a year of her life to service. Colleen is currently working as a nurse and serving the people of Guyana. In her blog post she talks about the challenges of encountering all the pain, suffering, and poverty around her. But she doesn’t stop there; she also calls to mind all the good things: the happiness, seeing God in the people she meets, the laughter, love, and joy. I think being able to find joy in the pain and suffering is so beautiful. Colleen’s words have kept coming to mind quite a bit in the past few weeks. They have served to remind me that I should be thankful to have the opportunities that I have, and to be where I am. With Thanksgiving approaching I am reminded to give thanks to God for these many blessings, many of which I must admit I take for granted most days of the year.

            Dietrich Bonhoeffer once wrote, “We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts.” There have been many times in the past month or so when I have forgotten this sentiment.

Many mornings I wake up to the sound of my alarm and grimace at the time and thought of waking up to go to Mass. As much as I am horribly embarrassed to admit that, I am telling you this because it illustrates my point. I am so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to have a church practically right outside my door and to attend Mass every day. This amazing and beautiful gift that Jesus gives us Himself in the Eucharist; this seemingly ordinary but really extraordinary and “really not small gift,” I take for granted by not wanting to wake up early enough to receive Him.

I have been stressing a lot lately about taking the GRE’s and the idea of applying to grad school. But thinking back to Colleen’s post, I realize how thankful I should be that I get to worry about taking GRE’s and applying to grad school. I am privileged that those are my biggest worries at the moment. I don’t have to worry about most things people in the developing world have to worry about. Now, I don’t say this to bring anyone down or to make anyone feel guilty, that is not my intention. I just needed to remind myself that those stresses too, are a gift.

My community is also something I am tempted to think of as ordinary and small, but really is a wonderful and amazing gift. There have been times after long stressful days, when I want to be alone, or times when I have focused on ways my community members annoy or frustrate me. In those times I forget what a gift they are in my life; I forget to be thankful for their presence, love, support, encouragement, and the fact that we get to journey together this year. I am thankful for all of our dinners together, all our conversations about everything and nothing, all the laughter and silliness like someone stealing other people’s seats, Gilbert the turkey hat, making bear noises, and the countless jokes and fun times. I am thankful for all the evenings we’ve spent watching Gilmore Girls, all the trips to Panera or to some other food place when we were too tired and too lazy to cook for ourselves, and all the nights we sat on the floor in our hallway and shared stories. I am also thankful for the moments when we’ve shared our faith together, and all the times prayed together before bed in the chapel. These are the moments I am thankful for; these seemingly ordinary, small moments which Bonhoeffer believes are not so small and ordinary at all.

- Amanda