A Reflection on College COP

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

-Albert Schweitzer

I used the quote above to begin my talk on this past College Capuchin Outreach Program (College COP) in January. I used it because it rings true for me, some of the best and happiest moments of my life were spent serving others. I learned what true joy was through service, and through that new-found understanding of joy I was able to learn more about God and deepen my relationship with Jesus, the ideal model for servant leadership.

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend College COP last year as a participant, which was a really awesome experience itself, so leading as a CCV this year was like coming full circle. Last year my service site was St. Patrick’s Soup Kitchen and Newburgh Ministries. I really loved working with both organizations; I got to meet some genuine and inspiring people who are really passionate about their work and service. I was also privileged to have a fantastic team to serve with throughout the week which shared many great conversations and countless laughs. (Shout out to Kelley, Kim, and Shawna!) Through theological reflection in the evenings I got to unpack the day’s experiences; both my own and others’ through the lens of faith. I was able to recognize God in the people I encountered throughout the week, from the people I served, to the people I served with, and everyone on the retreat. Through attending CCOP I was able to grow in both my understanding of service and in my faith.

I expected this year’s College COP to be pretty similar to last year’s with the obvious exception that this time I would have the added responsibilities of helping run the retreat and lead a service group. However, this year I was challenged in ways that I never expected to be challenged. And in that sense I was also forced to grow.

My service site this year was Habitat for Humanity/ manual labor, which originally I was less than thrilled about. I must admit I didn’t want to do Habitat for a very selfish reason… I didn’t want to be out in the cold all week. But what is that saying about God laughing at your plans…? Also I know that often times I struggle finding God in the day during manual labor.  It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the repetition and monotony of the mostly physical work that I find myself not being present to God throughout the day. Anyway for the first two days of CCOP we worked at the Red House, the place where my community and I live together, our home. It was a definitely humbling experience! It was humbling because I was leading a group of college students who were going to be serving me (& my community and CYFM of course), and also because I was there to work and serve with them. Working in the Red House made me appreciate the work I was doing more and also appreciate our house more, even with all its cracks, drafty windows, that sticky and stained floor in the kitchen, and all its imperfections. It is a good house, full of friendship, laughter, and memories. My last day working at the Red House, I looked back to see a warm streak of sunlight coming in from the window illuminating the floor and freshly painted green walls in the chapel. I stood in the doorway and relished in the simple beauty of that moment, and I thought about all of the prayers that have been said in that chapel over the years. Prayers of our community and of past CCV’s. I thought about the all the prayers said in the mornings before work, at evening prayer before bed, and late into the night by restless souls. Prayers for all the teens and retreatants that have been ministered to throughout the years, prayers for discernment, for joy, courage, hope, and peace.  All those prayers were sure to fill up that little chapel.

Then the next two days were spent working with the Habitat for Humanity affiliate in Newburgh. That was also a challenging a humbling experience. I had worked with Habitat many time before, so I thought I knew what to expect. We arrived at the address we were given and found a house that was in complete disrepair. It was covered in filth. I felt dirty just standing there. At first I didn’t know what to think, I couldn’t even move, I was in shock by what I saw in front of my eyes. My next thoughts were of wanting to get out and run away from that place, but still I stayed, and as a group we slowly made countless trips in and out of the house clearing out dirt, trash, soiled clothes and furniture, broken drywall, and much more. As we kept working my thoughts turned to ones of questioning where God was in this situation. Where was God for the children who apparently lived in this house? Where was God among all the debris, mold, and stench? That answer didn’t come to me right away. When someone asked me in Theological Reflection where God was in all of that, I mumbled about God being in the hope that now Habitat is going to rehab the house for another well deserving family. Which is true, but what I realized later after much reflection with people much wiser and spiritually adept than I, that God was there. God was there in the people I was working with all week long, my service group and the Habitat workers, in their willingness to see hope and envision a better house and better life for another family. God was there in the midst of the filth, brokenness, and desolation that was that house, and even in the people who allowed that house to sink into such disrepair because God never abandons us. Even in our brokenness, even in our sin, and even in our shame, God never leaves us. He loves us through it all, and he forgives us. He wipes away all the filth and crud from our souls and washes them clean in the sacrament of Reconciliation. So God was in that house in Newburgh in the same way he was there in that small chapel in the Red House with the light streaming through the window.

So yes, College COP was just as great an experience for me this year as it was last year. This year I was put out of my comfort zone. This year I was challenged. This year I had to seek out where God was in my service, more so than last year. And I found Him.

This post was written by Amanda Bielat. 

Esopus

Last week the Cap Corps Volunteer community went on retreat to the Marist Brothers Center in Esopus, New York. A friar from the Province, Fr. Sam, gave the retreat to the five young adults.

The theme of this retreat was belonging. We explored contemplative prayer, poetry, and beauty. Our retreat began Tuesday evening and ended Friday afternoon. Each morning and night we had a "silent sit" or intentional quiet time. Our breakfasts and lunches were also had in silence. Each afternoon we had a couple of hours of free time, where we were allowed to relax, pray, or encounter Christ in reconciliation.  One of the most enjoyable parts of the retreat was our interaction with the full time volunteers at Esopus. During each of our meal times we were greeted with the same hospitality that we try to show our guests at CYFM. It was so nice to be on the receiving end of that grace though. The Marist volunteers have a blog too, you can check it out here.We had conversation at dinner, and some community time in the evening. We played games, had dessert, and tended to the fire in the living room.

Our introduction to contemplative prayer was through Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer. I found this practice particularly difficult. Although I am content with quiet, I often let my mind race and wander through parts of my day, my prayer life, and through past experiences. I usually end up taking one thing and thinking through it thoroughly, and not actually praying. This wasn't really what we were supposed to be doing. And for some reason, I couldn't actually focus on the point of centering prayer. Instead I thought about next year, and many other things.

To be honest, I probably should have taken the opportunity for "spiritual companionship" during free time. Rather, I took a shower, a brief nap, read for a bit, and took a walk down to the river.

As I approached the Hudson River, I couldn't get over the shards of ice that were floating along with the current, and getting left behind on the shore. It was kind of gloomy out. I say kind of because it was gray, but it was rather warm out, which made it bearable to walk around outside.

I couldn't get over how the ice resembled glass in appearance, but also in sound. The different pieces of ice clanked against each other, moving down the river, taking turns riding along with one another. It really was spectacular. On the way to dinner that night Fr. Sam and I spoke about how cool this was, but also serene and somewhat eerie. I think that this experience put me in a better place to reflect on beauty in the context of belonging.

We read poetry from Mary Oliver, Gerard Manley Hopkins, as well as others. I had never studied any of the poets that we read, but I was especially captivated by Hopkins use of language in As Kingfishers Catch Fire.

I say móre: the just man justices;

Keeps grace: thát keeps all his goings graces;

Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is —

Isn't it beautiful?! I never had the chance to study Hopkins, so I may be looking into some of his collected works in the near future... or when I have a chance to read (probably next year).

I think that the combination of contemplation, poetry, beauty, and a sprinkle of Laudato Si was beneficial for these Cap Corps. We spend so much time reflecting as a group throughout our normal (as normal as it can be) schedule. The quiet, although difficult for some, was nice. It was nice to spend that time with the Lord, in a more structured and relaxed way.

With love and gratitude,
Mary

Ash Wednesday and Lent

It's that time of year again!  This Wednesday, Christians all over the world are reminded of their sinfulness and of their dependence on the Grace of God. The video above explains Lent and Ash Wednesday in two minutes... only two minutes! Take a couple of minutes, watch, and learn. Often enough, we as Catholics feel that we need to do some extraordinary acts during Lent to show that we are indeed, devout Catholics. 

Don't let your pride get in the way of letting yourself grow spiritually. The Church calls us to pray, fast, and to give alms. What is one thing that you can do to make your relationship with God better this Lent? What is one thing that is keeping you from God? Maybe its netflix, instagram, or checking your phone too much. Fast from it. How can you give of yourself? Whether it's monetarily, or a giving of your gifts to someone else. Think about it. What would you like to do to share yourself with the world during these 40 days. 

Fr. Mike Schmitz has some great advice for what we can do for Lent in this video:

Still not sure what you should do? Check out these resources:

102 Things You Should Really Give Up For Lent- Lifeteen

The Lenten Sacrifice: How It Can Save Your Life- Lifeteen

100 Things to do for Lent- Held By His Pierced Hands

Fast & Abstinence- USCCB

37 Things To Give Up For Lent- Simple & Sweet

Daily Lent Reflections- Bishop Robert Barron and Word on Fire Ministries

Best Lent Ever- Dynamic Catholic

Become a Missionary of Mercy this Lent. 

As you know, Pope Francis declared this year a year of Mercy. The Capuchin Franciscans have been made special Missionaries of Mercy for this Jubilee Year. The Mass was Monday. Each Province sent a Friar to be present. Check out the pictures here!

Want more information on how to be a Missionary of Mercy? Check out these links:

Jubilee Year Of Mercy- USCCB

Year of Mercy Website

Misericordiae Vultus BULL OF INDICTION OF THE EXTRAORDINARY JUBILEE OF MERCY

Make this your best Lent yet. Prepare your heart for Easter, for the risen Christ by dying to self with Him for 40 days.

With Love and Gratitude,

Your CYFM Family

Restless

So I wasn’t really exposed to Christian music, praise and worship music, or whatever you want to call it until last year, but it has definitely been an interesting time. See, I grew up listening to a lot of Rap and Hip-Hop music my whole life. So you could say that I have done a total reversal of music interests. I went from listening to Kid Cudi, Jay-Z, and Kanye West on a daily basis; to listening to Matt Maher, David Crowder Band, and Hillsong United almost all the time. I didn’t go through this whole grand transformation of who I am, I just found listening to “Jesus Music” a lot more enjoyable than I used to.

So a song that kind of sparked that music change was the song “Restless” by Audrey Assad. I was first introduced to this song by my friend, Ana, on her “Happy” playlist. It is a popular song in the Catholic and Christian circles. So this song has done a lot for me recently. It was a song that I listened to in times of sadness, frustration, and joy. It was the song that really helped me strengthen my prayer life.

The chorus of the song goes:

            And I'm restless, I'm restless 'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You.  I am restless, I'm restless 'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You. Oh God, I wanna rest in You.

My prayer life has been pretty scattered in the past few months. You would think doing a volunteer year where you do a lot of prayer I would have it down to an art by now, but no, I haven’t. My mind has been restless. My heart has been restless. In result my prayer life has been restless as well. All of this has been frustrating me, but I guess that’s what happens when you are trying to figure out your life.

I was having a conversation with one of my friends one night and they say “But Paul, you seem like you have everything figured out in your life!” I respond to them saying, “ha. Haha.hahaha. lol.”

Recently I have been in this restless state of mind. See, I want to become a Campus Minister at Providence College one day. That is my goal in life and that is what I am striving to do. I am restless because of the uncertainty in the way I am going to get there. I am in the waiting stage of my grad school application process. Waiting to hear if it is a yes or a no. Waiting to hear if it is a maybe later. It is a state of unknown. I don’t like this stage at all, and me being me, I am naturally an impatient person and want to know right this instant what my future will or will not entail. I am restless because I want this to happen so badly. I want to go to Grad School, learn all that I can, and then finally become a great Campus Minister for someone. But maybe that this isn’t what God wants of me. Maybe there is something else God wants me to do. Maybe God wants me to go back to wanting to become a teacher.

I am restless because I want happiness, and a lot of things make me happy. All of the possibilities make me so happy and I want to do all of them. Teaching, ministry, all of it brings me joy. You can see the happiness in my face when I do/ talk about something I love. It radiates from me.

The bridge of the song goes:

Still my heart, hold me close. Let me hear, a still small voice. Let it grow, let it rise. Into a shout, into a cry

I just want to know. I just want to be pushed in a certain direction so I can just focus. I want to hear something. To just have a little guidance. So I can let it grow, let it rise, into a shout, into a cry. But that is not up to me. I will continue to be restless, until I can have that rest in Him. I guess I am just going to be restless for a while, but sometimes restlessness is a good thing.

- Paul

The Impala

RIP Impala

It is with heavy hearts that we inform the CYFM community that Genevieve the Impala made her final drive in early December when her transmission refused to cooperate for the last time. This Grey 2002 Chevy Impala, affectionately known as Genevieve, Impy, Mr. Impala, the OC, and probably a host of other, less affectionate names, faithfully served several years of Cap Corps Volunteers as their semi-reliable mode of transportation.

Life with Genevieve was always an adventure.  Besides conducting the CCVs’ daily commute along the stunningly scenic Route 9D as they admired God’s creation, drank coffee, and jammed out to Matt Maher, the Impala also travelled great distances to Boston, Middletown, CT, the far reaches of western upstate New York, and Long Island. To gain greater insight into the personality of life with this legendary car, past Cap Corps Volunteers have shared their memories of the Impala with us:

Lindsay recalls taking Mr. Impala to Long Island when a tsunami broke out and the speedometer stopped working.  

Lauretta looks back fondly on the times when the “gas gauge was straight up NOT working and it was basically Russian roulette” and how the Impala “always smelled of dead animals and fast food.”

Yes, the Impala’s generosity was limitless. At one point it apparently served as a mobile home for small animals. Courtney remembers discovering that it was a mouse’s nest that was causing flooding inside the car and frost build-up on the interiors of the windows!

Katie Rotterman enthusiastically remarks that the Impala housed one of the best CD collections known to CYFM.

The Impala has even made a cameo in a prayer service sketch called The Stranger’s Bargain. In the nearly deserted parking lot of a movie theater, the Impala’s engine “sputters, coughs, and then dies altogether,” leaving the main character vulnerable to an encounter with the devil. The history records are unclear as to which CCV wrote this script and how much of it is based on their personal experience…

One of the most thrilling tales involving the Impala has been recounted in many iterations by the 2014-15 CCVs.  They were stopped in traffic on the highway on their way to Interlaken, NY, when they realized the CD collection was in the trunk. Katie Cavazzini bravely volunteered to retrieve the CDs, only to find out that the trunk doesn’t open when the car is in drive. Katie experienced a deep sense of panic as she thought her community was going to drive away without her and leave her stranded on the highway.

                  Though our time with the Impala was short, this year’s group of CCVs can agree that Genevieve has left an indelible impression on our memories. We have seen her temperamental side since the time she shut off for no reason mid-drive only a week after our arrival. And in her final week, Paul, Amanda, and Val struggled to drive her the 0.6 miles to the Mobil on Main Street, creating a traffic jam and angering all the people behind us as she stubbornly shut off and had to be restarted every few feet.

The miraculous safety of all the Impala’s passengers can be attributed to the Sacred Heart medal kept in the compartment on the dashboard. Jesus, we trust in you!

Finally, we leave you with a few poems written for the Impala, in memoriam, by our very own Hollis:

Fit six CCVs

Left Katie on the highway

Transformed into boat

Check engine light on

Speedometer is broken

Let's go to Thrift King

If you wish to make a donation to CYFM in the Impala’s memory, please feel free to call Judi. We are currently accepting offers for a new community vehicle for the CCV’s. Thank you!

"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise"

"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise." 

Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

As I'm sure some of you know, the Cap Corps year of service is jam packed with retreats and ministry. Not only does CYFM provide retreats for encounter, and a deepening of faith, but we also provide retreats for confirmation programs and Catholic high schools.The Cap Corps Volunteers along with the Friars give close to 100 retreats each year to complete strangers. 

At the beginning of the year, the CCVs took the Myers Briggs test so that we may better know how to care for ourselves. And to our surprise, 4/5 of us are introverts. Meaning that we get our energy from alone time, rather than being around other people. Now, this doesn't mean that we are all shy people, or that we don't like to interact with other people, but it does mean that sometimes we need to just be by ourselves for five minutes or ten or two hours. 

Now, each of us came into this year of service with the same goal: to serve the youth of the Catholic Church through youth ministry and retreats. However, like anything in life, we were unsure of what this would actually mean. And for this CCV, it has meant learning a lot about myself, my relationship with God, and learning how to care for myself. My personality type, according to the Myers Briggs, is an INFJ. Basically, I get my energy from inside (alone time), I am intuitive, I'm a feeler, and I am judging (I prefer closure and having things planned out). Seeing how these things actually play out in my life, has helped me to better interact with my community, and also how to care for myself. 

Almost every day, I meet new people. And at the same time, I am expected to share my faith story, my witness of faith, with these strangers. I am expected to welcome them with true, authentic Christian love. These are some of the ways that a Cap Corps Volunteer serves God through serving others. 

For me, when we have multiple day retreats, I become physically drained rather easily, and begin to forget why I am here. I often allow myself to become discouraged. Luckily for me, I have people in my life who remind me of why I am here in the Hudson Valley, and what a blessing it is for me to be here.

One of the things that drew me and my heart to doing a year of service, was the opportunity to encounter Christ through each person I meet, and to help them encounter Christ through my loving actions. I had some incredible experiences on Mission trips in college, and those experiences helped me to see what a gift it is to love another person, even if that is the only encounter you'll have with that person. When I become discouraged, I often think about how I am never going to encounter this tenth grader again, so if I decide to stay inside of my comfort zone and not talk to him or her, that's okay. 

I have been reminded that the majority of the ministry that we do is with complete strangers. It's great when we have a group that we know; whether it's at a parish that we work at, or a weekend retreat at CYFM with "the regulars". However, that is not the norm. On a day to day basis, we are called to be loving and welcoming to people that we will probably never see again. 

I have been reminded of what a blessing that is. That although we may only see these students for six hours on a Tuesday, we still have the opportunity to be Christ to that person. And we should take advantage of that, to get over the awkwardness and talk to that tenth grader who doesn't want to be at CYFM for the day. 

Fr. Fred is constantly reminding us that a Christian is someone
in whom and through whom Christ lives. 

That's something that we as Cap Corps Volunteers, and more importantly as Catholics, are called to live each and every day. And although it is difficult. And although it is tiring. We may be the only authentic example of true Christian love that that student may ever encounter. You never know how God is planning to use you today. Even if it is in small, simple, loving ways. We are called to love each and every person we encounter as if they are Jesus himself. 

And I want to live that this year. Even if it means that I need to hide in the DDA closet for exactly three minutes during a retreat, so that I can better be present to my small group. Or if I need to spend some alone time in my bedroom at the end of the day, so that I can better be present to my community. These are things that I am slowly learning are okay to do. Because God made me the way I am for a reason. And as I learn more and more about myself and how to care for myself, I can see that my rest is just as important as my talk for that confirmation retreat. 

"Intense love does not measure, it just gives."

Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

With Love and Gratitude,

Mary

Advent Praise and Worship Night

Some of you may remember that back in December, CYFM held a Praise and Worship event. Amanda's friends from Scranton have a worship band called Countless Wonders. They helped to lead members of the CYFM community in worship of our Lord as we prepared for the Christmas season. 

Overall it was a lovely night. The band arrived around 5 pm and the CCVs hosted them to dinner. As the band set up, and warmed up, members of the greater CYFM community started to arrive. Everyone found a place in the chapel and Countless Wonders sang "O Come Let Us Adore Him" and "Lord I Need You". Soon after, Fr. Fred exposed the Blessed Sacrament, and we adored Him. 

Countless Wonders had a mix of songs that most people knew and songs that only a few knew. It made for a very prayerful atmosphere, with time for silence and time for praise. It was truly a great way to prepare for the Christmas Season at the end of Advent. 

You can find Countless Wonders on Facebook and Youtube

Also, if you're in the Hudson Valley, they will be at Catholic Underground North this 

Saturday, January 16, 2016