“I don’t know what your destiny
will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who have sought and found how to serve.”
-Albert
Schweitzer
I used
the quote above to begin my talk on this past College Capuchin Outreach Program
(College COP) in January. I used it because it rings true for me, some of the
best and happiest moments of my life were spent serving others. I learned what
true joy was through service, and through that new-found understanding of joy I
was able to learn more about God and deepen my relationship with Jesus, the
ideal model for servant leadership.
I was
fortunate enough to be able to attend College COP last year as a participant,
which was a really awesome experience itself, so leading as a CCV this year was
like coming full circle. Last year my service site was St. Patrick’s Soup Kitchen
and Newburgh Ministries. I really loved working with both organizations; I got
to meet some genuine and inspiring people who are really passionate about their
work and service. I was also privileged to have a fantastic team to serve with
throughout the week which shared many great conversations and countless laughs.
(Shout out to Kelley, Kim, and Shawna!) Through theological reflection in the
evenings I got to unpack the day’s experiences; both my own and others’ through
the lens of faith. I was able to recognize God in the people I encountered
throughout the week, from the people I served, to the people I served with, and
everyone on the retreat. Through attending CCOP I was able to grow in both my
understanding of service and in my faith.
I expected
this year’s College COP to be pretty similar to last year’s with the obvious
exception that this time I would have the added responsibilities of helping run
the retreat and lead a service group. However, this year I was challenged in
ways that I never expected to be challenged. And in that sense I was also
forced to grow.
My
service site this year was Habitat for Humanity/ manual labor, which originally
I was less than thrilled about. I must admit I didn’t want to do Habitat for a
very selfish reason… I didn’t want to be out in the cold all week. But what is
that saying about God laughing at your plans…? Also I know that often times I
struggle finding God in the day during manual labor. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the
repetition and monotony of the mostly physical work that I find myself not
being present to God throughout the day. Anyway for the first two days of CCOP
we worked at the Red House, the place where my community and I live together,
our home. It was a definitely humbling experience! It was humbling because I
was leading a group of college students who were going to be serving me (&
my community and CYFM of course), and also because I was there to work and serve
with them. Working in the Red House made me appreciate the work I was doing
more and also appreciate our house more, even with all its cracks, drafty
windows, that sticky and stained floor in the kitchen, and all its imperfections.
It is a good house, full of friendship, laughter, and memories. My last day
working at the Red House, I looked back to see a warm streak of sunlight coming
in from the window illuminating the floor and freshly painted green walls in
the chapel. I stood in the doorway and relished in the simple beauty of that
moment, and I thought about all of the prayers that have been said in that
chapel over the years. Prayers of our community and of past CCV’s. I thought
about the all the prayers said in the mornings before work, at evening prayer
before bed, and late into the night by restless souls. Prayers for all the
teens and retreatants that have been ministered to throughout the years,
prayers for discernment, for joy, courage, hope, and peace. All those prayers were sure to fill up that
little chapel.
Then
the next two days were spent working with the Habitat for Humanity affiliate in
Newburgh. That was also a challenging a humbling experience. I had worked with
Habitat many time before, so I thought I knew what to expect. We arrived at the
address we were given and found a house that was in complete disrepair. It was
covered in filth. I felt dirty just standing there. At first I didn’t know what
to think, I couldn’t even move, I was in shock by what I saw in front of my
eyes. My next thoughts were of wanting to get out and run away from that place,
but still I stayed, and as a group we slowly made countless trips in and out of
the house clearing out dirt, trash, soiled clothes and furniture, broken
drywall, and much more. As we kept working my thoughts turned to ones of
questioning where God was in this situation. Where was God for the children who
apparently lived in this house? Where was God among all the debris, mold, and
stench? That answer didn’t come to me right away. When someone asked me in Theological
Reflection where God was in all of that, I mumbled about God being in the hope
that now Habitat is going to rehab the house for another well deserving family.
Which is true, but what I realized later after much reflection with people much
wiser and spiritually adept than I, that God was there. God was there in the
people I was working with all week long, my service group and the Habitat
workers, in their willingness to see hope and envision a better house and
better life for another family. God was there in the midst of the filth,
brokenness, and desolation that was that house, and even in the people who
allowed that house to sink into such disrepair because God never abandons us.
Even in our brokenness, even in our sin, and even in our shame, God never
leaves us. He loves us through it all, and he forgives us. He wipes away all
the filth and crud from our souls and washes them clean in the sacrament of
Reconciliation. So God was in that house in Newburgh in the same way he was
there in that small chapel in the Red House with the light streaming through the
window.
So yes,
College COP was just as great an experience for me this year as it was last
year. This year I was put out of my comfort zone. This year I was challenged.
This year I had to seek out where God was in my service, more so than last
year. And I found Him.
This post was written by Amanda Bielat.
