As I sat down to
write this blog post, I was looking for inspiration and there on my wall I saw
my Tau cross hanging and surrounded by these inspiring quotes that came with my
room!
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life…” This
is something I am always working on and need to work on. My story of how I got
to CYFM is a story of learning how to trust God and learning to let go of my
own vision of how things should work out.
St. Francis and St. Therese are two of my favorite saints
and their feast days were both celebrated this month! I find their stories
inspiring and I have found Franciscan spirituality becoming a big part of my
own spirituality. St. Therese is known
as the Little Flower and is often remembered for her little way. She was a
Saint who did ordinary things in an extraordinary way. She would offer up
little sacrifices as a prayer for others, and she would offer up her own
suffering. She also had a remarkable way of looking at things. She could look
at the most negative situation you could think of and turn it in to something beautiful!
What I love about her story is she that it’s so simple. She had a deep love for
Jesus and that was enough to inspire great things. She reminds us that we are
all called to be Saints!
My journey to CYFM was not an easy one but I had St. Therese
to remind me to look for the beauty in it all. By January of my senior year of
college I had my next steps all planed out. I was going to be a missionary for
an organization that had a very positive influence in my life. The mission of
this is organization is to “Awaken youth to the power of God’s love”, and this
mission spoke to my heart. I was packed and ready to go in July, but three
weeks before the program started I got a phone call. I was suddenly unaccepted.
I was crushed. I had felt so strongly called by God to be part of this
missionary program and it was suddenly taken away.
I scrambled to find something to do with my year. I did not
know what I wanted to do and was forced to truly rely on God for a plan. I
found myself part of a Franciscan service program, Change a Heart. I lived in Pittsburgh, I lived in community,
and I served as a preschool teacher. There were a lot of ups and downs but over
all I loved it. However it did not fill the desire in my heart to radically be
living for Christ and to be using my story, my experiences, to lead young
people to His love.
I began thinking ahead a searching for what was next. I
applied to Hard as Nails Ministries, but by the time they responded to my
application they were already full. I applied to NET Ministries, but I did not
get accepted. I was beginning to question my desires to serve God, if this is
what He wants me to do why isn’t it working out? Then I found Capuchin Youth and Family
Ministries. I interviewed within a few
weeks of applying and I was accepted before returning to Pittsburgh.
Saint Therese was convinced of her vocation. She faced a lot
of obstacles but she persevered. Because of her perseverance and because of the
obstacles she faced she became a beautiful witness. Her witness gives me hope
that even though my journey was challenging, I was still following God’s plan
He has for me.
Entering into my second year of
service as part of a Franciscan service program I am beginning to develop a
stronger sense of what it means to live in the spirit of Saint Francis. Growing up I knew Saint Francis as the animal
lover, and always thought of him as a peaceful guy. There is so much more to
him than that. Working closely with the
Capuchin friars has helped me to see what it means to live out Franciscan
spirituality. Saint Francis desired to become like those he served, he was not
afraid to go against the grain, and he loved relentlessly. People said that
when they met Saint Francis they felt like they were meeting Jesus himself.
Saint Francis loved Jesus so much that he wanted to take on His suffering; he
loved Him so much that he received the stigmata. To live in the spirit of Saint Francis is to love
Jesus so much that His desirers come before your own, to live in the spirit of
Saint Francis means serving others with a joyful and a humble heart.
As I live out my year as a CCV I
hope that I can grow in Franciscan spirituality. I hope that I can learn from
Saint Francis and be a witness of Christ’s love to all who I encounter.
Until next time,
-Sam
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